Adulting

Lyrics: Murphy, Key, Kersey - Music: Key - Guest Vocals: Sheena Perez

I don't wanna adult today
Things to fix, bills to pay
I just want to stay in bed
Play video games, but instead
I gotta get up, go to work
Put on pants, iron my shirt
Warm up my car, did I get gas?
Sit in traffic, this jerk won't let me pass

I've had enough adulting, no more being grown up for me
Let the bills pile up to the ceiling (in PJs)
playing Super Mario 3
NO.
I can't do that, I gotta DOOO the thing
But I don't wanna do the thing!
But you gotta do the thing!
I'm not gonna do the thing!

Adulting is suffering and suffering is not for me
Adulting has got to be the purest form of misery

I don't wanna do stuff. Doing stuff is stupid
A meaningless existence: Doing stuff to live to
have to do more stuff

You must renew your license plate, utilities need to be paid. STOP.
I need a break from the stress, taxes overdue,
car needs an emissions test
I can't take it anymore!
Filthy bathroom floor, and I gotta go to the store

Going to the store is such a bore.
Paying bills has no thrills.
Putting on pants is a torturous dance
Being an adult is the worst kind of cult.

I'm done with adulting, no more being grown up for me
I'm gonna call off work, third day in a row, eating
chicken strips, playing Battletoads

I'm done with adulting, no more responsibility
I'm out of food and money, but I gotta finish season 3
And they fired me. I gotta find a job.
I don't wanna get a job! But you gotta get a job!
I don't want another job! Spruce up your resume!
I hate job hunting! Shave your beard! NO!

Adulting is suffering and suffering is not for me
Adulting has got to be the purest form of misery
I don't wanna job hunt. Job hunting is stupid
A meaningless existence: Work a job to live to have to work a job

I refuse to get a job, or do adulting stuff I'd rather
Erect a couch cushion fortress.
Have a staring contest with my cat, Sergeant Snuggles
Rewatch all 121 episodes of Lost (still don't get it)
Fall asleep with the lights on
Eat Ramen straight out of the pack
Let the dishes attract fruit flies
Make a Youtube page for Sergeant Snuggles

I've had it. Don't you dare judge me.
Been told since birth to follow my dreams
You're looking at it. I'm living the dream,
the lifetime pursuit of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

The pursuit of nothing.

I don't wanna human today, no more brushing teeth, let them decay
Haven't showered in over a week, I don't even wanna think.
Just leave me here in bed. Pull the covers over my head.
Let the world think I'm dead cuz I'm gonna...

I'm finished with adulting, no more being grown up for me.
Sergeant Snuggles' Youtube page has a billion views, so I'm getting paid.
Give up on adulting, you just gotta follow your dreams.
Don't need a job or any skills when your kitty cat can pay the bills.

Sergeant Snuggles
Passive income

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Tom Cruise probably hates us.