"Obey the Beard"

Lyrics: Rzemyk, Key, Kersey
Music: Key, Rzemyk

Mustache? No. Sideburns? No.
Goatee? Maybe... beard? BEARD!
Do you feel alone? Do you feel neglected?
Not doin' well with the ladies? Well I've got the solution for you!

Low self esteem? GROW A BEARD!
Afraid to follow your dreams?
Are you lonely and sad?
You wanna look good in plaid?
Are you working out?
Did your car break down?
Ice caps melting?
Are you stuck in the middle of a nowhere and you need to make an important phone call,
but the battery is dead and you can't find an outlet to plug in your charger?

GROW A BEARD!

Grow the beard. Feed the beard.
Brush the beard. Manscape the beard.
Stroke the beard. Love the beard.
Fear the beard. OBEY THE BEARD!

OBEY THE BEARD. BEHOLD THE BEARD
ACCEPT THE BEARD. RESPECT THE BEARD

Impress your date with your beard
Eat a steak
Chop down trees
Crush your enemies
Catch a fish
Round house kick
Troll the net
Chia pet? Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia beard.
Drive a truck
Try your luck
Arm wrastle
Teenage Mutant Ninja Beard
Pet the doggie
I pledge allegiance to the beard
Can't grow a beard? Then BUY A BEARD!
Do you have a beard? THEN GROW MORE BEARD! "You need to shave this thing!"
SHUT UP GRANDMA, GROW A BEARD!
Defend the beard, drink to the beard ‘cause
beards are good and scruff!
I was so empty and lost inside ’till I grew you (’till you grew me)
I put my faith in my facial hair to get me through
Well, I can defy the odds again and again
with you on my chin (I’m on your chin)
With every moment you grow closer and closer to my heart.

Do you take this beard to be your lawfully wedded beard. For bearder or for worse,
In scruffiness and in beard, till shave do you part? I beard.

Abe Lincoln had a beard. ZZ Top, EPIC beards
Dimebag Darrell, METAL beard
Chuck Norris, KICKASS beard
Number One Make it beard. Chewbacca IS a beard. Santa Claus, Jesus Christ,
GOD has a beard.

Back to all lyrics.

Is there no end to these jerks?