"This is not a Song it's a Sandwich"

(Music: Key - Lyrics: Key, Grant)

I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking, "This is a SONG!"
Well I guess I'll just have to show ya
exactly where you are wrong.

Why are you hearing the cheese?
Why are you feeling the ham?
If you don't listen you'll miss it!
You don't understand!
I will explain it all once!
I can explain it all twice!
To make it clear to your brain until you've taken a bite!

It couldn't be a dam ‘cuz it doesn't have a beaver.
It's not the DMV ‘cuz it doesn't make you wait.
It couldn't be a taco ‘cuz it isn't very crunchy.
It couldn't be an Olsen ‘cuz it isn't Mary Kate.

It can't be Dirty Dancing ‘cuz it doesn't make you vomit.
It couldn't be an iron ‘cuz it doesn't burn your face.
It couldn't be Bruce Campbell ‘cuz it isn't freakin' awesome.
It couldn't be a keyboard ‘cuz it doesn't have a space bar!

Because this is not a song it's a sandwich.
What would make you think otherwise?
This is not a song it's a sandwich.
Now no more of your vile filthy lies!

So what are you thinking?
Still think this is a song?
Do you require more proof?
Do you enjoy being wrong?

Why aren't you hearing the meat?
Why aren't you feeling the bread?
You're making me sad.
I will explain it all once!
I can explain it all twice!
And then again and again until you've taken a bite!

It couldn't be a chick ‘cuz it doesn't want to marry!
It can't be Windows Vista ‘cuz it doesn't suck enough!
It couldn't be a boob ‘cuz it isn't very squishy!
It couldn't be a beer ‘cuz it isn't good and stuff!
It couldn't be a tub ‘cuz it doesn't have a ducky!
It couldn't be a stoner ‘cuz it doesn't have a joint!
It couldn't be an egg ‘cuz there is no Easter Bunny!
It couldn't be a song ‘cuz it doesn't have a point!

Because this is not a song it's a sandwich.
What would make you think otherwise?
This is not a song it's a sandwich.
It's really just a hoagie in disguise!
This is a song?
No it's a sandwich.

Lettuce. Bacon. Mayo. Tomato. Cheese. Olives. Onions. Frog.
Tuna. Turkey. Peppers. Salami. Noodles. Pizza. Tires. Crowbars.

Back to all lyrics.

Worshipped by all that is dumb.