Derf Larpard

Being a child of the eighties, you would probably render me an advocate of the torrent of hair spray that encumbered that particular musical generation.

However, I must insist that you retract that current impulse because my opinion of the power-ballad generation was the same as it is now - HATE. These "bands" - those with the gargantuan hair and severe lack of true musical tact - are the bane of my musical tastes and should all die.

Luckily many of them are gone due to their overzealous nature with the nose-candy or various other intravenous chemicals.

(What's crazy is that this imagery is coming BACK, and my trembling fingers aptly beckon for some sort of firearm or projectile-like killing machine.)