May 1st 2012, 1:00 AM

I still rock my iPad first generation with very little desire to upgrade. It's weird - when it comes to iPhones or processors I get flustered and envious, but with the iPads I don't feel that UBER-MUST-HAVE feeling.

Ooh, a camera and a faster processor! Let me give you $800!

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Jarsh ate a dog made out of frosting and lived.